Weighing Matters

my journey to b.e.t.t.e.r

weight just a minute

Ten pounds down. In 25 days! Not too fast. Not too slow. Just right! So how come I didn’t do it before? Why, for so long, haven’t I been able to stick with more than 2-3 good, healthy days in a row without sabotaging, binging, blowing it? As if it’s not embarrassing enough to weigh on Mondays and be over-goal for over a year!!! You’d think that would have been enough to get me going! But, no. Humiliation didn’t do it for me.

I remember thinking the last time I lost weight [36 pounds in 2006] that the stars and planets must have been in alignment for everything to go right. Before [and after] it seemed I could EITHER exercise but eat everything in sight, or eat pretty healthy and throw exercise out the window. In either case, I wasn’t successful at weight loss. For some reason things are much better this time around.

WEIGHT just a minute! Why am I acting like I can’t figure this out? It’s simple. [Again, NOT EASY, but simple!] This month I am more committed, more educated, more focused and more ready than I was last month, and the month before that. [The whole dang year, actually!] I am taking the time to eat healthy, tracking every meal, every day [thanks to Holly]. I am exercising each day, alternating uppers and lowers, and making sure I do 100 abs a day. That has made a HUGE difference.

Gina asked what, if any, difference has exercise made this time:

Dear Gina.

I just read Hotlines and wanted you to know the difference working out and exercise has made in my process of recovering goal weight. I had been depressed [husband needs a liver transplant and my Mother passed away in December] for over a year and found [temporary and false] comfort in food. I actually ate until it hurt many, many times, and seriously had not exercised for over 9 months. I promised myself every Monday, or every first day of the month, or every whatever, that I would start again and follow program and get this weight back off. But I rarely made it through a day, and never through two days in a row. However, that all changed when I went to All Things Lifetime in Rock Springs and became re-motivated by Kristin. I saw what an amazing organization WW really is, how much scientific information and study goes into what they teach us, and how much good common sense there is in the literature of the Momentum plan. I wrote on my post card what I was going to change, and by darn, that motivated me! I just got my card back this week and it made me all weepy that Kristin remembered to send it. [That, too, made me realize how important it is keep in touch — send a card — to members who haven’t been to a meeting for a while.] I am so impressed with WW right now!.

Anyhoo [as YOU would say . . ] I have lost from 161 on May 2 to 151 this morning, but the BIG difference is that I am exercising every single day. I do strength training for 20-25 minutes, and it has been what I needed to push me over the the threshold each day and get me through those hard evening hours. My metabolism is up, my energy too. I’m sleeping better. Still a ways to go [145] but well on my way. I’m determined to be an example to our members so I don’t have to cringe every time a person asks me “Are you still doing Weight Watchers?” In another month or so people will be asking me how I lost weight and what the secret is. I also started a personal blog where I journal each day. [‘Weighing Matters” — love the double meaning.]

Today I ate cheese cake but fully counted it, made changes throughout the rest of the day, and now I am through eating for Tuesday. It feels good to take responsibility and not try to think I can get away by lying, not tracking, or pretending it doesn’t really make that much of a difference. This is huge for me!

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May 26, 2009 Posted by | Weight just a minute | 4 Comments

reflections

I really do have so much. Everything I need. More than most . . . These things make me happy.

Finding joy in simple pleasures
Time to do my favorite things
Friends who care and understand
Fun in the most unexpected places
Goals to guide me
Hopes to carry me

Stars [and Heaven’s help] to steer me
A heart full of love and gratitude
Grandchildren to adore and dote on
and Peaceful dreams to end most days

And, of course, Sunkist oranges.

I’m satisfied where I am in life. Yet still so much to do and improve. So many worthwhile pursuits just up ahead. I’m thankful for the quiet and peaceful moments of an empty home. The time to think and study and ponder. I’m thankful for this season.

May 23, 2009 Posted by | Weight just a minute | Leave a comment

and nobody gets hurt . . .

152. Finally!

Got to admit it’s been a slow week for weight loss. But it’s actually been one of my best for eating healthy, getting exercise and thinking positive. The scale will just have to catch up when it’s ready.

I knew ahead of time how easy it is to get discouraged so I planned for this moment — to recognize success in other areas. My first week I took measurements and this morning I re-measured. Woo-hoo for me! Woo-hoo for all those sit ups and ab Pilates. I already knew I had lost because I’d dropped a pant size and my clothes felt and looked better so . . . Drumroll, please. [Never thought I would be posting something like this online! Mercy!]

Breast was 40, now 39
Waist was 34, now 32.5
Abdomen was 40.5 now 39
Hips were 41, now 40
Thigh was 24.75, now 23.25
Seven ugly inches of pure fat, gone!

Other ways I’ve reinforced hard work when the scale isn’t moving: Positive self-talk is easier. I am saying nicer things to myself. I am more able to resist those late night [right-before-bed] snacks. I’m tracking online and see that I really have eaten enough for a day, so I put away the fork. Eating healthier foods let’s me know when I am full and satisfied. Junk food never did that for me! I used to eat until I was actually in pain. IN PAIN. For heaven sakes why would a person do that to themselves? Now, it’s as if I can just hear a loud voice amplified through a megaphone, “Put down the fork and back away from the table, and nobody gets hurt.” I can do that for myself now.

May 23, 2009 Posted by | Weight just a minute | Leave a comment

Tra` la` la`

I’m starting to wonder, has the fat lady sung? [Pun intended!] I lost so well for the first two weeks and now I’ve been at a near standstill for days! Surely it’s not the dreaded plateau so soon? If I’m going to be really honest with myself [and that’s what I said I would do from day one of this journal] I have to admit that recently I’ve been occasionally lax in my effort to follow ‘the plan.’ I’ve given myself a ‘break’ [oh pulEASE!, give ME a break!] and said, “Hey, I’ve done so well, so quickly and surely I deserve  . . . whatever.” [el~big~mistake~o.]

*Time to reevaluate, keep moving, and simply reaffirm my commitment to my weight-loss plan, and move forward! I’ve steamed the cauliflower and sliced the cantaloupe, so no excuses for the evening.

Losing weight is simple. I didn’t say it is EASY, but it is simple. Eat smarter, move more, follow good healthy guidelines and find a support system. Simple as that. Now, if only I didn’t have to sing a solo.

May 20, 2009 Posted by | Oh puhLEASE! | Leave a comment

U – turn [that’s more like it!]

I AM worth it. I am worth the hard work it takes to get it together, to keep it together. I’m worth whatever it takes to get my health in line — the sacrifices, and planning, and hours of typing this daily journal. Yes, even the extra money for good, fresh, healthy food and the time it takes to prepare it; the time to stretch and exercise and lift and push and dance and sing. I am so worth it. I have value – not because of what I do for others or earn or accomplish or comprehend – but because I am a human/spiritual being with the same intrinsic value as all others who breathe and live and exist. And I don’t doubt where that very breath originates.

REASONS I WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW: [this, to remind me to not take the before-mentioned detour]

My 40th Class Reunion July 3-4th
Family Reunion July 18th
Trip to Chichén Itza August 1st
Family Camping August 9-16  
12 pair of size 10 jeans in the closet!
Reduce my cholesterol
Reduce my BMI
Be a great example as a WW Receptionist
I definitely don’t want to be stuck in a wheel chair and have to get help pulling up my pants!

I can do this. I’ve done it before. I’m motivated right now, right here. Pounds and inches are disappearing and I’ve got momentum [Hey, that’s Weight Watcher’s new program  . . the Momentum Plan!] this very minute. Every tool I need is at my fingertips and I’ve every reason to continue doing what works and what has helped me that last 17 days. Boo to this morning’s detour!

Yeah for ME!

May 18, 2009 Posted by | Roadside fruit stand | 1 Comment

Detour!

So here it is. My stumbling block. I’m already [after just 17 days] thinking about cheating, going off, making excuses, rationalizing, not caring, giving up, tossing in the towel, justifying, falling off the wagon, making excuses, even lying! I’m tripping over this stumbling block like I’m a visually impaired person and someone put it there on purpose, right in the way of my well-worn, apparent, even obvious, daily path. And I might even know it’s there, might even know how to get around it, might know how to get help to navigate it [might even know who put it there!] but, instead, I fall flat on my face, hit the fridge, hit the cupboards, sneak out to the freezer in the garage, head for the convenience store and start scavenging for junk.

Why?

Why is my attention span so short? Why is my commitment to me, my health, my weight and my lifestyle so dang short? I hate this! [Aha, I said the ‘H’ word. It just spewed out of my mouth before I could stop it, so does that mean I really hate . . . me?] 

I can’t go there right now.

May 18, 2009 Posted by | Pot hole! | Leave a comment

and you can quote me . ..

The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet.~ Wayne Fields

I’ve spent the last hour googling and reading diet quotes / health quotes / life quotes. Some are just plain silly and obnoxious, but others are inspirational. There is something powerful and wonderful about a well written idea — the smooth flow of words, the double meaning, the thought provoking truth. Some of the quotes date back to the 17-1800’s! They’re from Napoleon, Cicero, Mark Twain and Shakespeare. Others are by Erma Bombeck, Meryl Streep and Dr. Oz. Evidently, health, diet and wellness have been on the minds of deep thinkers for generations. Here’s one:

It’s no coincidence that four of the six letters in health are “heal.” ~Ed Northstrum

My present quest is wellness which is defined by Wikipedia as a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit that results in an overall feeling of well-being. Wellness is more than disease free. It is a fused state of mind and body, where both are at peace with each other as well as the outside environment. Weight Watchers recommends that we think of and write down our goal. I’ve discovered for myself it has to includes more than being at a healthy weight. It is more than eating and feeding my body well. It also encompasses feeding my spirit and soul.

Last year I spent several months experimenting with personal wellness. I decided to do something in four areas each day: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. I made a chart and daily checked it off. Sometimes an activity let me mark two things at once, for example reading scriptures and recording impressions filled both categories of mental and spiritual. Taking a walk is both emotional and physical especially when I witness a spectacular sunrise or hear squawking sandhill cranes in the field by the river. I would write a note or send a postcard to someone I admire. I exercised each day. I was at goal. It was an amazing journey. I felt good and I felt good about myself! People noticed and asked what was different and I would answer, “I have a new best friend.” [It was me!] I highly recommend that we treat ourselves as our best friend. I don’t know why I stopped. Somewhere along the way, I lost enthusiasm, I got my feelings hurt one day, I forgot how wonderful I had been feeling and I gave up on me. Although it was a rewarding pursuit — both enriching and healing — I lost my focus. Or I got lazy and complacent.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at a the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ ~Mary Anne Racmacher

 

Wellness is my responsibility. It is your responsibility. It’s a connection of paths: knowledge and action.

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is. ~ Racmacher

Today is Saturday. Two weeks ago I started to eat healthy and write this blog. In those two weeks I’ve lost weight, and I have gained comittment, strength, courage, resolve. I’ve gained a little muscle tone. I’ve seen good results — which is precisely what I needed to stay the course. I needed to see a change to give me incentive to continue. I’ve overcome some obstacles. I’ve spent less time watching TV. I’ve read a book. I’ve seen my skin improve and my stomach less flabby. Last night before bed I did 100 crunches. I know it’s crazy but I wanted to do them! It felt great! I’m worth this hard work, and you can quote me!

Woohoo! 153. And this morning I made myself an egg-white and veggie omelet topped with salsa! Then a Live Morning Smoothie. Oh yah, world, I’m getting back on track!

May 16, 2009 Posted by | And that's a wrap | Leave a comment

deja vu

Déjà vu (pronounced en-uk-dejavu.ogg /ˈdeɪʒɑː ˈvuː/ (help·info)French fr-déjà vu.ogg /deʒa vy/ (help·info) “already seen”; is the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously (an individual feels as though an event has already happened or has happened in the near past), although the exact circumstances of the previous encounter are uncertain.

Been here, ate that!

I’ve been to this place so many times, each time promising myself – and a host of others – that this weight is gone for good. I’ll never have to worry about this particular ten pounds again. It’s fresh in my mind just how much effort went into losing 10 big ones. All the careful planning, no eating after 7 PM, umteen sit ups, hydrants and crunches. I’ll feel great, look great. I’m standing taller and straighter, feel confident and satisfied with myself. And then I lose my resolve, just like that! I actually begin to feel entitled to a little extra junk dessert or bread or cheese or snack. I say, “This little bit won’t matter at all. I deserve it. I’ve done so well. I can get right back on the plan.” UGH! You would think after two hundred and twenty nine times I would have learned by now! I know better!

I know my fat cells are wide-open right now, releasing some of their holdings when I am doing it right. And gaping wide open ready to scoop up any garbage that swishes past them when I’m not. [Exactly why so many of us lose ten pounds and immidiately gain 15!] And until I lose what I need to and close up those big clappers [with common sense and a tried- and-true maintenance plan] I’ve got to be careful and conscientious and deliberate about what I put in my mouth.

I got out my WW book #1 to refresh and recommit – read the whole thing in about 20 minutes. There is SO much good information. I’m convinced that members need to read these booklets every single day to keep in mind what we signed up for, what we paid for, what we want for ourselves and our health. I often take note that members are overly concerned about getting their weekly booklet, yet they don’t ever take them out of their bag to read the material. I’ll sneak a peak at their book several weeks later and it is still in pristine condition!

To truly succeed, we need to make this second nature! Successfully losing weight and keeping it off is not an activity to do for a few weeks and then stop!

Love this:

“Don’t give up what I want most for what [I think] I want right now.”

“More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.”  ~John Kenneth Galbraith

“Fatty foods are like destiny:  they too, shape our ends.”  ~Author Unknown

May 14, 2009 Posted by | Oh puhLEASE! | Leave a comment

a + b = c

I was going to say its not really math, but of course it is. It’s physics. My point is when you do one thing, couple it with another, you have an outcome. In this case, eating smarter + moving more = weight loss. I’ll have to figure out how to add consistency and lifelong into the equation. In just one week I can see that I’m eating more responsibly and exercising more regularly. Outcome? 155 this morning. Other outcome? Down a pant size. The pant size is what got me on this quest in the first place on May 2nd. I couldn’t bring myself to buy yet another size of jeans. I already have four [count them!] sizes of the very same Wal-Mart pants. 

I remember, fondly, the day my youngest daughter asked, “Mom what do you think would happen if you bought some cute pants?” I groaned at her with my annoyed voice. She persisted, “No, really, Mom, what do you think would happen?” I have a hard time spending money on myself and especially for clothes when I am fat this size. So cute is always in the future.

I have been one of those folks who says, “it’s my metabolism” and resign myself to failure because of an excuse. But Monday night’s meeting addressed just that! The leader said, “The good news is that a slow metabolism is a relatively UNCOMMON cause of weight gain. A MUCH MORE frequent cause is a SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE.” That statement caused me to stop and re-evaluate my commitment to making better choices in my weight-loss journey. That’s what meetings are all about. Hearing something that I already know — in just enough of a different way — that it catches my attention. 

“It must be my thyroid!” Next excuse — my Oprah rationale. I saw on national TV the richest woman in America blaming her thyroid for her weight gain and I also adopted that same stance. It’s only logical that if Oprah, with all her personal chefs and trainers, couldn’t lose and keep off weight, how could I? But after ordering several thyroid meds, and finally losing interest in that excuse, I moved on to the best excuse.

Yes, it’s the post-menopausal cop-out. Being through with menopause since age 48, I was sure that was the cause of my ever increasing pear shape. However, looking at my sister, Jan, I know how hard she works to stay healthy and toned. She’s inspirational! At age 65-ish she takes a run every day, rain or shine wherever she finds herself. Twelve days into this journey, I am finding it easier to exercise each day! Additionally, I am making conscious choices to eat healthy and satisfying foods earlier in the day and resisting previously tempting [even overwhelming] situations in the afternoon and evening.

Best quote of the day:

“Being overweight is hard…..

Losing weight is hard……

Maintaining your weight is hard…..

Pick your hard.”

May 13, 2009 Posted by | Weight just a minute | Leave a comment

oh my aching back!

I’m tired. I’m frustrated. My feet and legs ache and my back is throbbing. I had a particularly mentally and emotionally exhaustive workday, and now I want to sleep for twelve hours. Not good! This is not the way I want to feel! I still need to clean out the dishwasher and load it, wash four batches of permanent press and hang them, rake branches in the yard and mow, exercise, read scriptures, feed the cat, start dinner. Uughh. Where is that energy going to come from?

I started glancing through the May Ensign and saw Robert D. Hales’ talk. He said, “Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one’s sense of self-worth. All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships.”

He continues, “For both, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of our uncontrolled wants.”

I read it again. Then I typed it! I’m here to tell you: My freedom of choice has been diminished by the effects of poor choices I have made! These extra pounds are killing me! I have started and stopped losing weight every month for over a year, usually doing well for a few days or even a week. I start to feel good, even great! And then: sabotage! It’s almost as if I believe I don’t deserve to be healthy, to feel energized, to be lean, to like myself! Talk about diminished sense of self-worth! [Note to self: Prophets know what they are talking about!]

Checking in:

158 in the buff this morning. [Woo-hoo!] I have eaten so healthy for four days in a row. Haven’t exercised like I need to but have done a little each day. [And by ‘little’ I mean at least four sets of four different exercises plus 100 abs.] I am aware of choices and being hyper – accountable. To who, though? Just me.

Goal:

Do something physical, spiritual, intellectual and emotionally strengthening today!

On a scale of 1 to 10 I want to say I’m eleven. I want to say I’m great. I’m awesome. For now it’s enough to say I’m heading in that direction. I take responsibility for being the only one who can take me from where I’ve been to where I’m heading.

May 6, 2009 Posted by | On a scale of 1 to 10 | Leave a comment