Weighing Matters

my journey to b.e.t.t.e.r

posting on posting

Scott’s been making fun again. He makes fun of me blogging. He came upstairs after reading about the laundry baskets and asked if I had seen his basket! He says things like, “What does it feel like to know you’re never done?” And the other night he laid on the couch rubbing his tummy and said “I think I ate too much. I feel like I should go blog!”

And since blogging is about being self-absorbed and self-important — as if anyone else in the world would be interested in, say, what foods are sitting on top of the fridge, whether or not our cat is lazy, how much I weigh on a daily basis, and how I feel about Christmas — he mimics me throughout the day. [it’s all in fun . . .]  Yesterday we went to Murdock’s for some last-minute shopping and as we were walking in he said in a sing-songy mocking voice, “I was doing some last-minute shopping at Murdock’s  . . .” I had Mikelle trying on cute hats and he jokingly said, “This would be good to blog about, you could call it “tHAT‘s interesting!” [See the ‘hat’ in the middle of the word?] I wanted one of them to go grab the camera from the car so I could indeed blog about it, but they both refused with identically-emphatic insistent ‘NO’s! Yes, blogging is, by definition, “the self-absorbed nature of publishing details of my life online.”

I asked him if he read my post about the bathroom sink and he said “Do you actually think anyone reads that stuff”? Then he slyly added, “I only look at it if it has anything about me.”[Oh my, we’re all a little self-absorbed!]

When I actually WAS taking pictures of Mikelle in a cute hat to sent to granddaughter, Blythe, to replicate for me, she said “Don’t you dare put that on your blog!” I’m so camera illiterate I ended up taking a movie instead of a picture, or I would have!

We write to taste life twice, once in the moment and in retrospection. [Anais Nin]

I started posting in an attempt to be more honest with myself about a personal problem, and the more I wrote, the stronger my need to succeed. It’s also been a journey to my awareness, to acknowledging my many weaknesses and a way to momentarily escape my reality. [Additionally, it gets me away from the couch and too much TV, and thus, away from the fridge and the kitchen!]

Self-knowledge through journaling is a source of personal liberation.

Sharon O’Brien said “Writing became such a process of discovery that I couldn’t wait to get to work in the morning:  I wanted to know what I was going to say!”

Such it’s been with my endeavor. Many times I didn’t allow myself to feel the anger, the pain or the disgust until I put it down in keystrokes. Other times I didn’t realize something was important to me until I verbalized it. Writing is both mask and unveiling. [E.B. Whit]

Sister, Carol, texted that she identified with my post on the same non-answers. Heck, I identified with me! It was uncomfortable to admit I’m such an unfeeling jerk. It destroyed me when Dad was cold and unfeeling, and then I accidently vebalized the same about myself.

Posting has introduced me to myself. I’m a terrible writer, but I so enjoy the editing process. I love my thesaurus and I delight in proper punctuation. And it’s emancipating to be confessedly obsessive with character flaw. [Seriously. It’s incredible how using a thesaurus can change a sentence!]

[If Scott knew I woke up at 5 am on Christmas morning and snuck down to the computer to write this post, I’m sure I’d never hear the end of it!] It’s ironic. Just yesterday Scott said sarcastically to me “Pretty soon you’ll be blogging about blogging!”

Truth is stranger than fiction!

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December 25, 2009 - Posted by | Posting, Silly

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